Funny how my last post was in May 2011.

& Im here blogging away in July 2012.

Even blogger has changed and I am still getting used to it. 

Its 1.40am and I just have the sudden urge to blog even though I really have nothing to say. Ok fine, not really nothing to say lol. I have so much to say actually, I just dont know how to pour them out in words or text. Which means, ok well I suck in this haha. 

And also, please dont mind my grammar as I really am not the best person in writing. So just bare with it LAH ok. 

So how was everyone's 2011? I would say it was my hit year where I THOUGHT I hit rock bottom and too much things happened when it really is just a scrape of ice. It really is. Really JUST a scrape of ice. Its still funny and strange to me till today at how a person can really screw up another person. And it doesn't even matter if this particular person is a person you've only met, recently met, or known for just a short period of time. I have learned that when feelings are involved and when one cares too much, take things too seriously, you are screwed. For me, 2011 is the year that went by so fast, maybe a little too fast. BUT sometimes I felt and wished that the time could pass by faster. The nights where I cried myself to sleep. The nights where I used food to eat my tears away. The nights where I wish I could just kill you in my sleep. Yeah, it was that bad, I could not believe it myself. Judge however you want to judge me. That was really how I felt. 2011 is the year that someone in my life walks out of my life, and its the year I realize who my real friends are. Its the year I felt the most pressure to the point where I gave up way too many times yet I am still learning how to get back up. Its the year I told myself to snap out of things, stop being petty and go out there to accomplish great things yet I felt like I just wasted time. Its the year I cried over too many pointless things, too many times. Its the year I look back on all the lifetime memories in which I find myself missing the people in them. 

But its also the year I move on, slowly, and realize that, everything is okay. 

So.. enough of looking back? I've messed myself up enough. Embarrassed myself way too much, did things I swore I never will do, constantly trying to impress people I dont need to, constantly afraid of people judging. Because, really, what for? Sigh, I cant tell myself. 

Its the second day of July and I am on my semester break  for one and a half month ! :D Its my final year of degree in Taylor's for Communication in Media Management and I am just keeping my fingers crossed for me to get through this without having to resit for anything. Just let me graduate already. BUT at the same time, I have this heavy heart to leave school life. Maybe I'm just not ready to face the scary, horrifying working society lol. Im trying to sound like a drama queen. I have a feeling I'll miss all the stress nights. Assignments, rushing deadlines, all nighter, video shooting, editing, and everything will be missed :(

And most importantly, friends and family. People I cant live without. I understand that I eventually HAVE to live without them one day. I am very thankful for each and every one of them. I really do suck at giving thanks and expressing how grateful I am in both words and person! My uni friends are STILL my uni friends. The four girls that will always be mine. They are still here with me till today :) My classmates who I love very much. My highschool friends who are still here with me till today.

And also, to those who left, I wanna say thank you too. Because really, you were in my life before and you made a difference. 

As for myself, yes, I've lost weight and I am still trying to lose more. I went down from 57 kgs till currently, 48 kgs. I've been asked several times, why and who am I trying to lose weight for. I am losing weight for no one, but the mirror. For myself. Because I feel better and nicer ? Haha I am at it again where I cant explain myself ! lol. And mentally, I definitely cant say I've made it. I still have much to learn and I believe I know nothing yet. I'm just taking everything I can, as I go. Just that sometimes, I think I need to learn how to say no, I need to stop trying to impress people I dont need to impress, I need to care less, I need to stop caring about what people say and what people would think, I need to stop being so easily convinced. 

I realized I did a lot of things for the wrong reasons, which I really need to stop. I need to stay true to myself. Bottom line is, I need to set my priorities straight and know what is right. 

Other than that, I know I can be very rude at times and I am very sorry for that. Sometimes, I talk without thinking, talk without putting myself in other people's shoes and words cant be taken back. And also, I need to learn NOT to contradict  my actions with the things I say or vice versa and I need to learn to talk lesser. 

All in all, I am very thankful for everything I have with me till today and I am still learning to be more positive which I can never find myself doing it because sigh I am just so negative at times to be honest. My mindset has always been- expect the worse, so that I wont feel so bad after everything. Am I even making sense?  Haha. 

Ok, its 2.20am yikes ! I better stop here and will blog about what I did or recent happenings with PICTURES in the next post ! :D Hopefully I wont take too long hehe. Gonna go watch the Euro Cup Finale now !

Love, 

your small eye girl, Jane :)

Will you just stop texting already ? Even as friends

Funny how my last post was in May 2011.

& Im here blogging away in July 2012.

Even blogger has changed and I am still getting used to it. 

Its 1.40am and I just have the sudden urge to blog even though I really have nothing to say. Ok fine, not really nothing to say lol. I have so much to say actually, I just dont know how to pour them out in words or text. Which means, ok well I suck in this haha. 

And also, please dont mind my grammar as I really am not the best person in writing. So just bare with it LAH ok. 

So how was everyone's 2011? I would say it was my hit year where I THOUGHT I hit rock bottom and too much things happened when it really is just a scrape of ice. It really is. Really JUST a scrape of ice. Its still funny and strange to me till today at how a person can really screw up another person. And it doesn't even matter if this particular person is a person you've only met, recently met, or known for just a short period of time. I have learned that when feelings are involved and when one cares too much, take things too seriously, you are screwed. For me, 2011 is the year that went by so fast, maybe a little too fast. BUT sometimes I felt and wished that the time could pass by faster. The nights where I cried myself to sleep. The nights where I used food to eat my tears away. The nights where I wish I could just kill you in my sleep. Yeah, it was that bad, I could not believe it myself. Judge however you want to judge me. That was really how I felt. 2011 is the year that someone in my life walks out of my life, and its the year I realize who my real friends are. Its the year I felt the most pressure to the point where I gave up way too many times yet I am still learning how to get back up. Its the year I told myself to snap out of things, stop being petty and go out there to accomplish great things yet I felt like I just wasted time. Its the year I cried over too many pointless things, too many times. Its the year I look back on all the lifetime memories in which I find myself missing the people in them. 

But its also the year I move on, slowly, and realize that, everything is okay. 

So.. enough of looking back? I've messed myself up enough. Embarrassed myself way too much, did things I swore I never will do, constantly trying to impress people I dont need to, constantly afraid of people judging. Because, really, what for? Sigh, I cant tell myself. 

Its the second day of July and I am on my semester break  for one and a half month ! :D Its my final year of degree in Taylor's for Communication in Media Management and I am just keeping my fingers crossed for me to get through this without having to resit for anything. Just let me graduate already. BUT at the same time, I have this heavy heart to leave school life. Maybe I'm just not ready to face the scary, horrifying working society lol. Im trying to sound like a drama queen. I have a feeling I'll miss all the stress nights. Assignments, rushing deadlines, all nighter, video shooting, editing, and everything will be missed :(

And most importantly, friends and family. People I cant live without. I understand that I eventually HAVE to live without them one day. I am very thankful for each and every one of them. I really do suck at giving thanks and expressing how grateful I am in both words and person! My uni friends are STILL my uni friends. The four girls that will always be mine. They are still here with me till today :) My classmates who I love very much. My highschool friends who are still here with me till today.

And also, to those who left, I wanna say thank you too. Because really, you were in my life before and you made a difference. 

As for myself, yes, I've lost weight and I am still trying to lose more. I went down from 57 kgs till currently, 48 kgs. I've been asked several times, why and who am I trying to lose weight for. I am losing weight for no one, but the mirror. For myself. Because I feel better and nicer ? Haha I am at it again where I cant explain myself ! lol. And mentally, I definitely cant say I've made it. I still have much to learn and I believe I know nothing yet. I'm just taking everything I can, as I go. Just that sometimes, I think I need to learn how to say no, I need to stop trying to impress people I dont need to impress, I need to care less, I need to stop caring about what people say and what people would think, I need to stop being so easily convinced. 

I realized I did a lot of things for the wrong reasons, which I really need to stop. I need to stay true to myself. Bottom line is, I need to set my priorities straight and know what is right. 

Other than that, I know I can be very rude at times and I am very sorry for that. Sometimes, I talk without thinking, talk without putting myself in other people's shoes and words cant be taken back. And also, I need to learn NOT to contradict  my actions with the things I say or vice versa and I need to learn to talk lesser. 

All in all, I am very thankful for everything I have with me till today and I am still learning to be more positive which I can never find myself doing it because sigh I am just so negative at times to be honest. My mindset has always been- expect the worse, so that I wont feel so bad after everything. Am I even making sense?  Haha. 

Ok, its 2.20am yikes ! I better stop here and will blog about what I did or recent happenings with PICTURES in the next post ! :D Hopefully I wont take too long hehe. Gonna go watch the Euro Cup Finale now !

Love, 

your small eye girl, Jane :)

Will you just stop texting already ? Even as friends