#chubbybunny 

Testing 1 2 3 

Fast forward 3 years later since my last posting here, still contemplating if I should revive this little space. Lots have changed and if I were to keep this space, it will be about my daily adventure from lifestyle such as fitness, food, travels, family, work and more. 

Hoping I can also express my feelings and thoughts about all things here. 

Till then.

Love, 
Janey 

Hi world,

This is me, dear blogging world. I have been gone for too long, in case nobody recognizes me, if there is anyone even reading lol (Snatch this picture out of FB cause I am lazy like that)

Labels: 2015, job

Hello readers. Clock reads 3.09pm right now. And no, I woke up long ago. In fact, I woke up twice today. And yeap... how does that even make sense. Woke up to the sound of my alarm at 6am for work. Checked my phone and found about 139 unread messages in whatsapp. Mainly, regarding Media Law exam results.

Checked my results and didn't even know how I should feel. Called in emergency for work and thank god for the most understanding agent I have. She is by far the nicest and most understanding agent I've ever had. I was allowed to replace today with next Wednesday.
Went to uni and sigh.. to cut the story short.. Nothing can be saved. What is done, is done.
I guess I'll have to retake this subject I detest the most. Passed through assignment 1 and assignment 2 just fine, but did badly for my exam which pulled my grades down :(

How ironic that I blogged about how I really wanna complete this course without failing anything in the last post. And here I am, talking about how I flung it :/
My very first time failing something since the day I enrolled. Sigh.
All I can say now is, what is done, is done and I just gotta do my best for the second time.
Determination, determination and determination. Focus and most importantly, procrastination. Something I am best at -.- Gotta STOP.

So I guess enough for now at how useless I've been feeling at almost everything including how I flung Media Law. This shall pass. Whats the use of me sulking at it still when my results wont change overnight.

Moving on with life,
As mentioned in previous post, I've started working for Fujitsu in Cyberjaya on every weekday from 9am-5pm. Getting there on first day of work wasnt a problem at all. I didnt get lost ! I even reached an hour early.  Best thing? No jam. At all. Even if there is, its only a minor jam, small part. Yeah I am not making sense again. Whateves.
We were given a whole list of data to update. I had to call every single number to aske and make sure everything is updated. In other words, all I do all day is call and call, and call and call every company in the world.
Its a very mundane job to be honest. I dont know how anyone can do it for a living lol.
Lunch break is 1 hour and I ate rice on my first day at the Old Town White Coffee opposite the office. I was too hungry :( Felt super guilty after eating. Managed to pull myself to the gym after work.

Second day wasnt bad or anything. Basically the same as day one. And well, honestly, the only thing to look forward to everyday will be what to eat for lunch. Haha.
and.. I had waffle. The worst waffle compared to the ones from Daily Fresh.
I had a bad tummy ache after having the waffle. Sonia had the waffle and a Ramly burger.
Things there are pretty pricey in my opinion BUT thats because I havent explore Cyberjaya enough yet.
I heard theres local, average price food stall further down Fujitsu which I should go and have a look before I go broke lol.

and driving back home isnt bad at all WITH the help of an app I downloaded recently called Waze! I had no idea how to get home and Waze is basically... my life saver lol.

Skipped gym yesterday as I was too tired :(
I see no excuse for me to not go today but I am still feeling lazy and down :/ sigh.
But NOH, I have to go !


Work place from my point of view
and me at work :)

Labels: assignments, clubbing, college schedule, university, work

Its 12 noon and I just woke up! Haha I am such a pig. I slept at about 5am last night because I was up watching the game.
Uh huh Spain & Italy 4-0. Nothing much to say about football as I dont know much about it and I watch it for the fun of it lol. The only two match I watched from the whole Euro Cup is the finals last night and England vs Italy.

Anyway ! I woke up to a phone call with good news ! I got confirmed for a job my cousin recommended ! :D It is a telemarketing job in Fujitsu and the pay isnt bad so I wanted to give it a try. Plus, I need to work since I am broke to the core :( Aftermath of too much shopping and not watching my expenses. The office is all the way at Cyberjaya and I think everyone knows by now that I am hopeless with directions. Honestly, its not like I never tried. I did -.-

BUT, I thank god I have the best brothers in the world who would show me the way. Kenny brought me there yesterday to check out the place. Place looks good and well, promising? lol.

So.. finally some good news from job hunting since my holiday started. With that being said, I actually lose two jobs recently. On the note of how I lose my first job, I am still confused if it was my fault or not.. ? Oh well. And second job.. Long story cut short, alcohol involved (no, not launching), pretty high pay for short hours and I guess its not as simple as I look at it resulting to me getting lectured by both my parents and le familia for over three days.

Now the point is, I've got a new job hehe. Hopefully everything goes well. Keeping both my fingers and toes crossed. First, is to get there safe and sound. Please ! Please...

On a random note, I went to Malacca for a day trip last week with a few friends.
The last time I went to Malacca was few years back lol.
The day trip was all about eating haha. We ate SO MUCH. Durian, chicken rice balls, nasi lemak, ice cream and the coconut milk shake is ze bomb shell. I'll let the pictures do the talking because I am lazy like that :D

Labels: Malacca, trip, work

                                                                                                                                                                 
Hello there my abandoned blog. Seriously does anyone still read this shizz haha.

Labels: 2012, personal life

My face. Yes, its getting rounder and rounder and rounder its not even funny.

Yellow ! I'm suppose to be doing my assignments now but these pictures are too pretty for me to miss a chance to post it here. Eventhough I have no readers anymore :(
By looking at my chatbox, useless spammers lol.

3 research essays & a video due next Friday. Web page design due 13th June.
Suppose to be packing for camp tomorrow but Nita got the pox so I guess God wants us to stay for our assignments.

Met up with my highschool girlies yesterday at Upstairs cafe. Pretty nice place to just sit and talk. Pictures will do the talking & I better get back to my assignments !






Did I made it that easy for you to just walk in and walk out of my life ?

Labels: hangout, highschool, upstairs cafe

Incase people forgot how I look like heh :)

Life has always been good. Always have been. I will always look forward to everyday like a normal day. Look forward to going to uni and the slightest things makes me happy. Things like planning the weekend with my friends, things like dressing up to uni, making me feel good that I look good for uni. Things like shopping for 2357686534 clothes having to hide it from my mom after I bought them. Things like simple movie with my girlfriends makes me smile. I get excited over sleepovers lol. And I don’t long for a boyfriend lol. AND YES ITS TRUE, theres times when I get all like “ahh how I wish I have someone I can call mine, someone to pick me here and there, someone to go to the movies with me, someone to go on dates with”. HAHA Who am I to kid right… my mindset have always been, if it comes, it comes, if it doesn’t, it will one day? Who knows. And this matter never bother me lol. Things have always been easy. Yeah.. “easy”.. and when I say easy.. I don’t mean easy, as in easy. Not the, I got a robot at home to do my assignments for me, I have a chauffeur, or yada yada. I always think “Aiya everything will be ok wan la”.. So what if theres never ending of assignments? So what if I cant find a good parking ? Just walk further la…” I get scared and worried about things, but I get better the next day because it’ll be all fine.

It’s a Saturday today, *laughs* you’ll always find me at home watching Korean dramas. I mean, what am I talking about, you’ll always find me watching Korean dramas 24/7. I get so excited that I can watch them lol. I will actually rush my assignments so that I can watch an epi or two before going to sleep. And I forget the time when I watch them. Or, I’ll call up my friends just to hang out. And then.. I’ll have dinner with my family at night. And after dinner, its either I continue with my Korean dramas or I go yamcha with my friends lol. Point is I’ve always been very… carefree.

Yeah, the word carefree. Perhaps, I was TOO carefree.

Unexpected things happen and when it happens, it just happens. REALLY UNEXPECTEDLY. Everything started on March 20^th. That was when you FB chat me for the very first time. Clicked right away and that’s when the texting started. Every day, every minute, every second. And oh, MSN. We talked so much, with the mindset of what if tomorrow never comes. So much in common and it just happens. Same primary school, same high school, same everything? Best thing was you’re my friend’s brother. Then, I got scared. Really scared. Scared of whaaat? Being a rebound. Thought of ignoring your text and just stop talking to you. But I guess you can’t stop feelings.

That’s when the best friend warned you. You proved her wrong. You proved me wrong and we agreed on taking things slow. 27^th March was our first date. Second date on 3^rd April and I lost count on how many dates. Your brother didn’t like how we were progressing at all. I was hurt to the core. But well, you told me not to care, and just give him some time. Plus, its not fair for him to judge you. I care because he is your brother and he is my best friend’s boyfriend, but I like you, so what am I supposed to do? And so, long story cut short. I got too used to having you around. We talked too much. We look forward to the weekend too much because that’s when you come home from Nilai and that’s when we can see each other. You’ll text me even when you are in your favourite place shooting things. You would stay up late just to talk to me, you would come get me to eat no matter how late it was. You would text me asking if my tummy is feeling ok even though you are sitting at the same table across me. You would drive just to buy that packet of milk for me. The money you spend on me, the “anything la, up to you”, the place we go to, just everywhere, everything. Worse is when you get jealous saying you want to punch this punch that. I got too used to you driving me around, too used to you holding my hand first in the car and everywhere, too used to you texting me first reflecting that fact that I never text or msn you first, too used to you holding me, too used to being in your arms, too used to kisses on the cheek, too used to you smiling at me, too used to having your chin on my shoulder, too used to feeling extremely small beside you because you are so tall, too used to leaning on you on the escalator, too used to just having you in my mind. Too used to just you being there. The fact that you’ll be there. I guess it was my fault for holding your hand first. So everything went too fast. Everything was too beautiful, too good to be true, too prefect to be true.

Then… you got scared. Scared that whatever happened in the past will happen again and it haunts you. Scared that if we don’t last, things won’t be good with everything around you. You got too afraid… too insecure, too selfish. Caring of what other people would think of you and not even care a single bit of how I would feel. One of the main reasons was that I’m very close to your brother’s girlfriend, which is my best friend. Ever thought that without her, we won’t even happen? Sorry was the word. “My fault for not willing to give it a try and take risk but I thought of what that could happen and I don’t want to go thru it again. I’ve been through it and I find it very hard to go thru it again”. And with that, you left.

I was clearly a rebound. A replacement. You don’t even realize it. Theres only one reason why you left, you never liked me enough.

Heartbroken. Can’t lie this time. Because this time, I can actually feel the pain. How much it hurts. It really DOES hurt. Now I see, how people actually feel. I’ve always been the one comforting other people. I guess its easier said than done. Tired of not sleeping, tired of crying, tired of don’t feel like eating.. .just so tired of everything already. Never expect it to actually hurt this much. Cant even find myself to look at everything the same way as before. Cant even find myself listening to kpop. Cant find myself step foot in the curve, cant even find myself doing anything without having you in mind.

The only thing to do now is, I need to forget you. Gotta accept the fact that you left. Done crying, gotta move on. Cant grieve on it forever. God loves me and all I can do now is to pray for what God think I deserve. Things been really hard but I can go through this. I mean come on, whats my pain compared to others? Those who get cheat on? Those who is divorce with kids? People in Japan? Those who gave everything to the other half and the other half just left after getting what he wants? You can go out and have fun with your friends forgetting about me so I can do the same. I still do wonder how you sleep at night sometimes. Ever wonder why you not holding your phone today, why are you not texting. I guess everyone deserve a guy who would take risk and fight for them. I guess im not the one that you would take risk and fight for. Just that for you and me, everything jumped to the downhill stage when we were at stage of honeymoon. And who knows, really, I’ll be hearing you having someone new in a month?

Part of life that everyone has to go through at least once in their life. People walk in and walk out of your life leaving scars. Nothing can be done but to let go. Let go so that new one comes. I still see you and everyone else. Its this mask that I put on that Im fine, but Im sure as hell I will be really fine one day. And that’s the day when I can talk to you without having to feel anything. The day I can delete all the conversations we had in msn, delete all my msgs labelled your name.

Thanks for all the memories, and hopefully one day, you’ll find a girl that you’ll actually take risk and fight for. Just give me all the time in the world to heal and have you at the back of my head.

Back to being strangers again, you 184cm.

Labels: break up, personal life

Hi abandoned blog. Sucks for you to have an owner like me :(

So last month was a pretty busy month. Worked almost everyday. FULL DAY. Pretty proud of myself because the outcome is overwhelming. Yes, Im talking about my salary. LOL.

So what have been happening ?
I still spend a lot on clothes. The amount I spend might not be much for a lot of people out there but it never fail to give me this guilty feeling all over.
and I've been sleeping at insanely odd hour munching on CNY goodies. Ugh, go away fats.

Lets start ?

1. One of my eldest cousin got married !


Ying and Jacky. Congratulations you both ! :)





Went karaoke before the wedding dinner. Karaoke was epic. Had so much fun.

2. New Year's Eve.


Outfit for New Year's Eve. Bought it from work and wore it straight for new year's.
I miss it so much :(
Anyway, went to Nita's Church at Shah Alam. Church service wasn't bad at all and I've realised that Christian worship songs are not bad.


during barbeque. My face is so round I wanna cry T____T

and then we had water fight.


the after party was at Ashwin's house. Went back home when the sun came out lol.
HAPPY 2011 PEOPLE :)

3. Chinese New Year


My manicure for CNY !


Yeesang during reunion dinner.





My dearest family.

4. Fraser's Hill !





So yes I went to Fraser's Hill during CNY. It was so cold up there I was freezing most of the time. Didnt expect it to be that cold which is why I wore shorts. But it was bearable.
Was dissapointed with the cleanliness of the house we rented. And the water service zomg. No hot water in such weather. Are you kidding me...
& the water stopped when I was using the toilet. WTH.
But it was fun after all cause of the company, jokes, and late night walk.


This look like a scene from Twilight LOL







& thats me, riding a horse. Jeff taking my picture lol.






I swear steamboat tasted 100x better up in Fraser's Hill LOL
The tomyam was so good. ZOMG I'M CRAVING FOR IT NOW.
The meatballs, fishballs, yongtaufoo slurpsss.

& whats chinese new year without

hehe.

5. Shisha at Rasta.

Love it there. Great atmosphere to just chill and relax.
Even though everything was over priced.
Shisha was 20bucks and milo ice was 4bucks. LOL
Went with Nita, Aaron, Brian & Ashwin.





6. Drinking at Aaron's place.

All 7 of us - Manooj, Brian, Adrian, Aaron, Nita, Anu & me :)
Went to his old house where his mom use it for tuition LOL














and I got burn by home made shisha coal. Cant really recall what exactly happened.
all I know was watching Aaron moving the shisha bong and place it on a chair & the next thing I know was a charcoal dropped on my right thigh and I brushed it off immediately.


It went blue black :(

& now its like that. Its getting better though. Disgusting I know. Sorry.
Im never sitting near a shisha bong ever again.
The party was fun, no doubt. Not the part where I got burned of course LOL.

Thats all for now !
More pictures of my 19th birthday in the next post where I transferred all the pics from my hard disk :)

BYE BYE !

listening to

Labels: church, clubbing, cousins, drinking, Fraser's Hill, gamble, happy cny, happy new year, new years eve, shisha, wedding

#chubbybunny 

Testing 1 2 3 

Fast forward 3 years later since my last posting here, still contemplating if I should revive this little space. Lots have changed and if I were to keep this space, it will be about my daily adventure from lifestyle such as fitness, food, travels, family, work and more. 

Hoping I can also express my feelings and thoughts about all things here. 

Till then.

Love, 
Janey 

Hi world,

This is me, dear blogging world. I have been gone for too long, in case nobody recognizes me, if there is anyone even reading lol (Snatch this picture out of FB cause I am lazy like that)

Labels: 2015, job

Hello readers. Clock reads 3.09pm right now. And no, I woke up long ago. In fact, I woke up twice today. And yeap... how does that even make sense. Woke up to the sound of my alarm at 6am for work. Checked my phone and found about 139 unread messages in whatsapp. Mainly, regarding Media Law exam results.

Checked my results and didn't even know how I should feel. Called in emergency for work and thank god for the most understanding agent I have. She is by far the nicest and most understanding agent I've ever had. I was allowed to replace today with next Wednesday.
Went to uni and sigh.. to cut the story short.. Nothing can be saved. What is done, is done.
I guess I'll have to retake this subject I detest the most. Passed through assignment 1 and assignment 2 just fine, but did badly for my exam which pulled my grades down :(

How ironic that I blogged about how I really wanna complete this course without failing anything in the last post. And here I am, talking about how I flung it :/
My very first time failing something since the day I enrolled. Sigh.
All I can say now is, what is done, is done and I just gotta do my best for the second time.
Determination, determination and determination. Focus and most importantly, procrastination. Something I am best at -.- Gotta STOP.

So I guess enough for now at how useless I've been feeling at almost everything including how I flung Media Law. This shall pass. Whats the use of me sulking at it still when my results wont change overnight.

Moving on with life,
As mentioned in previous post, I've started working for Fujitsu in Cyberjaya on every weekday from 9am-5pm. Getting there on first day of work wasnt a problem at all. I didnt get lost ! I even reached an hour early.  Best thing? No jam. At all. Even if there is, its only a minor jam, small part. Yeah I am not making sense again. Whateves.
We were given a whole list of data to update. I had to call every single number to aske and make sure everything is updated. In other words, all I do all day is call and call, and call and call every company in the world.
Its a very mundane job to be honest. I dont know how anyone can do it for a living lol.
Lunch break is 1 hour and I ate rice on my first day at the Old Town White Coffee opposite the office. I was too hungry :( Felt super guilty after eating. Managed to pull myself to the gym after work.

Second day wasnt bad or anything. Basically the same as day one. And well, honestly, the only thing to look forward to everyday will be what to eat for lunch. Haha.
and.. I had waffle. The worst waffle compared to the ones from Daily Fresh.
I had a bad tummy ache after having the waffle. Sonia had the waffle and a Ramly burger.
Things there are pretty pricey in my opinion BUT thats because I havent explore Cyberjaya enough yet.
I heard theres local, average price food stall further down Fujitsu which I should go and have a look before I go broke lol.

and driving back home isnt bad at all WITH the help of an app I downloaded recently called Waze! I had no idea how to get home and Waze is basically... my life saver lol.

Skipped gym yesterday as I was too tired :(
I see no excuse for me to not go today but I am still feeling lazy and down :/ sigh.
But NOH, I have to go !


Work place from my point of view
and me at work :)

Labels: assignments, clubbing, college schedule, university, work

Its 12 noon and I just woke up! Haha I am such a pig. I slept at about 5am last night because I was up watching the game.
Uh huh Spain & Italy 4-0. Nothing much to say about football as I dont know much about it and I watch it for the fun of it lol. The only two match I watched from the whole Euro Cup is the finals last night and England vs Italy.

Anyway ! I woke up to a phone call with good news ! I got confirmed for a job my cousin recommended ! :D It is a telemarketing job in Fujitsu and the pay isnt bad so I wanted to give it a try. Plus, I need to work since I am broke to the core :( Aftermath of too much shopping and not watching my expenses. The office is all the way at Cyberjaya and I think everyone knows by now that I am hopeless with directions. Honestly, its not like I never tried. I did -.-

BUT, I thank god I have the best brothers in the world who would show me the way. Kenny brought me there yesterday to check out the place. Place looks good and well, promising? lol.

So.. finally some good news from job hunting since my holiday started. With that being said, I actually lose two jobs recently. On the note of how I lose my first job, I am still confused if it was my fault or not.. ? Oh well. And second job.. Long story cut short, alcohol involved (no, not launching), pretty high pay for short hours and I guess its not as simple as I look at it resulting to me getting lectured by both my parents and le familia for over three days.

Now the point is, I've got a new job hehe. Hopefully everything goes well. Keeping both my fingers and toes crossed. First, is to get there safe and sound. Please ! Please...

On a random note, I went to Malacca for a day trip last week with a few friends.
The last time I went to Malacca was few years back lol.
The day trip was all about eating haha. We ate SO MUCH. Durian, chicken rice balls, nasi lemak, ice cream and the coconut milk shake is ze bomb shell. I'll let the pictures do the talking because I am lazy like that :D

Labels: Malacca, trip, work

                                                                                                                                                                 
Hello there my abandoned blog. Seriously does anyone still read this shizz haha.

Labels: 2012, personal life

My face. Yes, its getting rounder and rounder and rounder its not even funny.

Yellow ! I'm suppose to be doing my assignments now but these pictures are too pretty for me to miss a chance to post it here. Eventhough I have no readers anymore :(
By looking at my chatbox, useless spammers lol.

3 research essays & a video due next Friday. Web page design due 13th June.
Suppose to be packing for camp tomorrow but Nita got the pox so I guess God wants us to stay for our assignments.

Met up with my highschool girlies yesterday at Upstairs cafe. Pretty nice place to just sit and talk. Pictures will do the talking & I better get back to my assignments !






Did I made it that easy for you to just walk in and walk out of my life ?

Labels: hangout, highschool, upstairs cafe

Incase people forgot how I look like heh :)

Life has always been good. Always have been. I will always look forward to everyday like a normal day. Look forward to going to uni and the slightest things makes me happy. Things like planning the weekend with my friends, things like dressing up to uni, making me feel good that I look good for uni. Things like shopping for 2357686534 clothes having to hide it from my mom after I bought them. Things like simple movie with my girlfriends makes me smile. I get excited over sleepovers lol. And I don’t long for a boyfriend lol. AND YES ITS TRUE, theres times when I get all like “ahh how I wish I have someone I can call mine, someone to pick me here and there, someone to go to the movies with me, someone to go on dates with”. HAHA Who am I to kid right… my mindset have always been, if it comes, it comes, if it doesn’t, it will one day? Who knows. And this matter never bother me lol. Things have always been easy. Yeah.. “easy”.. and when I say easy.. I don’t mean easy, as in easy. Not the, I got a robot at home to do my assignments for me, I have a chauffeur, or yada yada. I always think “Aiya everything will be ok wan la”.. So what if theres never ending of assignments? So what if I cant find a good parking ? Just walk further la…” I get scared and worried about things, but I get better the next day because it’ll be all fine.

It’s a Saturday today, *laughs* you’ll always find me at home watching Korean dramas. I mean, what am I talking about, you’ll always find me watching Korean dramas 24/7. I get so excited that I can watch them lol. I will actually rush my assignments so that I can watch an epi or two before going to sleep. And I forget the time when I watch them. Or, I’ll call up my friends just to hang out. And then.. I’ll have dinner with my family at night. And after dinner, its either I continue with my Korean dramas or I go yamcha with my friends lol. Point is I’ve always been very… carefree.

Yeah, the word carefree. Perhaps, I was TOO carefree.

Unexpected things happen and when it happens, it just happens. REALLY UNEXPECTEDLY. Everything started on March 20^th. That was when you FB chat me for the very first time. Clicked right away and that’s when the texting started. Every day, every minute, every second. And oh, MSN. We talked so much, with the mindset of what if tomorrow never comes. So much in common and it just happens. Same primary school, same high school, same everything? Best thing was you’re my friend’s brother. Then, I got scared. Really scared. Scared of whaaat? Being a rebound. Thought of ignoring your text and just stop talking to you. But I guess you can’t stop feelings.

That’s when the best friend warned you. You proved her wrong. You proved me wrong and we agreed on taking things slow. 27^th March was our first date. Second date on 3^rd April and I lost count on how many dates. Your brother didn’t like how we were progressing at all. I was hurt to the core. But well, you told me not to care, and just give him some time. Plus, its not fair for him to judge you. I care because he is your brother and he is my best friend’s boyfriend, but I like you, so what am I supposed to do? And so, long story cut short. I got too used to having you around. We talked too much. We look forward to the weekend too much because that’s when you come home from Nilai and that’s when we can see each other. You’ll text me even when you are in your favourite place shooting things. You would stay up late just to talk to me, you would come get me to eat no matter how late it was. You would text me asking if my tummy is feeling ok even though you are sitting at the same table across me. You would drive just to buy that packet of milk for me. The money you spend on me, the “anything la, up to you”, the place we go to, just everywhere, everything. Worse is when you get jealous saying you want to punch this punch that. I got too used to you driving me around, too used to you holding my hand first in the car and everywhere, too used to you texting me first reflecting that fact that I never text or msn you first, too used to you holding me, too used to being in your arms, too used to kisses on the cheek, too used to you smiling at me, too used to having your chin on my shoulder, too used to feeling extremely small beside you because you are so tall, too used to leaning on you on the escalator, too used to just having you in my mind. Too used to just you being there. The fact that you’ll be there. I guess it was my fault for holding your hand first. So everything went too fast. Everything was too beautiful, too good to be true, too prefect to be true.

Then… you got scared. Scared that whatever happened in the past will happen again and it haunts you. Scared that if we don’t last, things won’t be good with everything around you. You got too afraid… too insecure, too selfish. Caring of what other people would think of you and not even care a single bit of how I would feel. One of the main reasons was that I’m very close to your brother’s girlfriend, which is my best friend. Ever thought that without her, we won’t even happen? Sorry was the word. “My fault for not willing to give it a try and take risk but I thought of what that could happen and I don’t want to go thru it again. I’ve been through it and I find it very hard to go thru it again”. And with that, you left.

I was clearly a rebound. A replacement. You don’t even realize it. Theres only one reason why you left, you never liked me enough.

Heartbroken. Can’t lie this time. Because this time, I can actually feel the pain. How much it hurts. It really DOES hurt. Now I see, how people actually feel. I’ve always been the one comforting other people. I guess its easier said than done. Tired of not sleeping, tired of crying, tired of don’t feel like eating.. .just so tired of everything already. Never expect it to actually hurt this much. Cant even find myself to look at everything the same way as before. Cant even find myself listening to kpop. Cant find myself step foot in the curve, cant even find myself doing anything without having you in mind.

The only thing to do now is, I need to forget you. Gotta accept the fact that you left. Done crying, gotta move on. Cant grieve on it forever. God loves me and all I can do now is to pray for what God think I deserve. Things been really hard but I can go through this. I mean come on, whats my pain compared to others? Those who get cheat on? Those who is divorce with kids? People in Japan? Those who gave everything to the other half and the other half just left after getting what he wants? You can go out and have fun with your friends forgetting about me so I can do the same. I still do wonder how you sleep at night sometimes. Ever wonder why you not holding your phone today, why are you not texting. I guess everyone deserve a guy who would take risk and fight for them. I guess im not the one that you would take risk and fight for. Just that for you and me, everything jumped to the downhill stage when we were at stage of honeymoon. And who knows, really, I’ll be hearing you having someone new in a month?

Part of life that everyone has to go through at least once in their life. People walk in and walk out of your life leaving scars. Nothing can be done but to let go. Let go so that new one comes. I still see you and everyone else. Its this mask that I put on that Im fine, but Im sure as hell I will be really fine one day. And that’s the day when I can talk to you without having to feel anything. The day I can delete all the conversations we had in msn, delete all my msgs labelled your name.

Thanks for all the memories, and hopefully one day, you’ll find a girl that you’ll actually take risk and fight for. Just give me all the time in the world to heal and have you at the back of my head.

Back to being strangers again, you 184cm.

Labels: break up, personal life

Hi abandoned blog. Sucks for you to have an owner like me :(

So last month was a pretty busy month. Worked almost everyday. FULL DAY. Pretty proud of myself because the outcome is overwhelming. Yes, Im talking about my salary. LOL.

So what have been happening ?
I still spend a lot on clothes. The amount I spend might not be much for a lot of people out there but it never fail to give me this guilty feeling all over.
and I've been sleeping at insanely odd hour munching on CNY goodies. Ugh, go away fats.

Lets start ?

1. One of my eldest cousin got married !


Ying and Jacky. Congratulations you both ! :)





Went karaoke before the wedding dinner. Karaoke was epic. Had so much fun.

2. New Year's Eve.


Outfit for New Year's Eve. Bought it from work and wore it straight for new year's.
I miss it so much :(
Anyway, went to Nita's Church at Shah Alam. Church service wasn't bad at all and I've realised that Christian worship songs are not bad.


during barbeque. My face is so round I wanna cry T____T

and then we had water fight.


the after party was at Ashwin's house. Went back home when the sun came out lol.
HAPPY 2011 PEOPLE :)

3. Chinese New Year


My manicure for CNY !


Yeesang during reunion dinner.





My dearest family.

4. Fraser's Hill !





So yes I went to Fraser's Hill during CNY. It was so cold up there I was freezing most of the time. Didnt expect it to be that cold which is why I wore shorts. But it was bearable.
Was dissapointed with the cleanliness of the house we rented. And the water service zomg. No hot water in such weather. Are you kidding me...
& the water stopped when I was using the toilet. WTH.
But it was fun after all cause of the company, jokes, and late night walk.


This look like a scene from Twilight LOL







& thats me, riding a horse. Jeff taking my picture lol.






I swear steamboat tasted 100x better up in Fraser's Hill LOL
The tomyam was so good. ZOMG I'M CRAVING FOR IT NOW.
The meatballs, fishballs, yongtaufoo slurpsss.

& whats chinese new year without

hehe.

5. Shisha at Rasta.

Love it there. Great atmosphere to just chill and relax.
Even though everything was over priced.
Shisha was 20bucks and milo ice was 4bucks. LOL
Went with Nita, Aaron, Brian & Ashwin.





6. Drinking at Aaron's place.

All 7 of us - Manooj, Brian, Adrian, Aaron, Nita, Anu & me :)
Went to his old house where his mom use it for tuition LOL














and I got burn by home made shisha coal. Cant really recall what exactly happened.
all I know was watching Aaron moving the shisha bong and place it on a chair & the next thing I know was a charcoal dropped on my right thigh and I brushed it off immediately.


It went blue black :(

& now its like that. Its getting better though. Disgusting I know. Sorry.
Im never sitting near a shisha bong ever again.
The party was fun, no doubt. Not the part where I got burned of course LOL.

Thats all for now !
More pictures of my 19th birthday in the next post where I transferred all the pics from my hard disk :)

BYE BYE !

listening to

Labels: church, clubbing, cousins, drinking, Fraser's Hill, gamble, happy cny, happy new year, new years eve, shisha, wedding